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November 18th, 2017

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Trump Dares “Biggest Loser” To Run Again

President Trump is challenging Hillary Clinton to run for the office he currently occupies, and of course, insulting her in the process. Trump, presumably tweeting from the toilet Saturday morning, said “Crooked Hillary Clinton is the worst (and biggest) loser of all time. She just can’t stop, which is so good for the Republican Party.”

Couple things Trump, Hillary has won many elections, and aided many philanthropic causes. Her popularity numbers far exceed even your highest number before the country realized what a #%! joke your are. And finally, for the record, she BEAT YOU by three million votes. Now go flush and STFU.

November 14th, 2017


Roy Moore’s Wife Calls Abused Women Whores

As if it weren’t bad enough to have men molest and then threaten you when you seek justice, now it’s their wives.  Kayla Moore, wife of Judge Roy Moore, is calling these five women whores, saying they are being paid to lie about the nightmare each has carried all these years. They have accused her husband of pursuing and assaulting them when they were just children. Does Kayla Moore believe her husband? I doubt it. Dozens of people have been reporting that Roy Moore has been fascinated by underage girls for years; one shopping mall banned him because of his creepy behavior.

My guess is that anyone who would make up such horrible lies about abused women is either so morally damaged that she is beyond repair, or a prisoner of the monster himself.

November 13th, 2017


Drudge, Rasmussen So Full Of Shit They Could Fertilize The Earth

Every poll in the world has Trump’s approval rating in the 30’s, an historically, embarrassing low, even for this amoral sociopathic creep. All polls except for Rasmussen, who frequently has Trump near 50%. Why? Because like Drudge, they lie. They talk to select groups and ask leading questions. It’s like going to a playground and asking kids, “would you rather have candy or gross, slimy spinach? ”

And like that question, one is good for you, gives you strength, and ultimately makes you strong and healthy. And the other one is Trump.

November 11th, 2017

The Hill

Putin Plays Trump Like His Little Bitch

Trump, while visiting Vietnam, 50 years older, fatter, and bone spurs nowhere to be found, lied again about the Russians. Telling reporters that he asked Putin if he meddled in the 2016 elections, Trump said the Russian president denied it. Again and again. “I can’t ask anymore. I believe him.”
So Trump says he believes an adversary over our own 17 different intelligence agencies.

But Wait! It gets better. Later in the same day, Putin says Trump never asked him about the hacking, the meddling, or any question about the election. So the only conclusions we can draw are both pathetic and frightening.  Either Trump is so mentally ill that he will lie to anyone, even his own people, or he just got played again by Putin. Either way, this miserable cow of a human is slipping toward slaughter and our only hope is he doesn’t drag us with him any further.

Is it 2018 yet?


November 23rd, 2017

November 22nd, 2017

What the End of Net Neutrality Means

They wanted a pro-business President they said. Well they sure got one, and boy are they gonna pay for it. As Trump’s FCC prepares to end net neutrality, at the request of the big ISPs (internet service providers), or “telecoms,” prepare for sweeping changes across all of your internet usage and all of your devices, …


November 17th, 2017

Time For Men To Be Men

There is a great difference between what Al Franken admits doing and the actions of Roy Moore. There is even a greater difference, however, between the actions of these two men and the rest of us who shake our heads and collectively ask, WTF? Why would a man touch or kiss a woman without her …


November 16th, 2017

Comedy, We Have A Problem

Like many of my male peers in comedy and television writing, I grew up awkward, insecure and unable to talk to girls I was attracted to. Fortunately, I was blessed with a quick wit and could find comfort in the world of smartass and inappropriate comments where, if I offended someone, I could shield myself …


November 10th, 2017

Louis C.K.; “These Stories Are True”

I’ve been uneasy about the binary nature of much of the dialogue on social media during the recent revelations of sexual misconduct by famous or powerful people. In the current climate, it seems that the only permitted choice is this: Either you immediately accept any accusation of any type of misconduct as absolute truth, or …


November 6th, 2017

What “Don’t Politicize It” Really Means

It happens every time. Within minutes after news breaks of yet another American mass shooting; when people start raising legitimate questions about the gaping holes in American gun regulations, gun proponents solemnly chastise the inquiry with the scold “Don’t politicize it.” People who say that think that they’re taking the high road, that they’re respecting …


November 6th, 2017

“Gun Laws Don’t Work”

Gun laws don’t work because criminals ignore them. Rape laws don’t work because rapists ignore them. Murder laws don’t work because murderers ignore them. Anti-fraud laws don’t work because con men ignore them. Speed limits don’t work because speeders ignore them. Laws protecting private property from theft don’t work because criminals ignore them. The concept …


November 5th, 2017

Our Founding Fathers Sucked At Math

Ron Chernow is the author of “Hamilton,” the book that inspired Lin-Manuel Miranda’s hit musical. And in his 700-plus pages of remarkable insight, he does come to some remarkably shocking conclusions. One is that our founding fathers sucked at math. It’s true. Hidden inside the compromise that relocated the nation’s capital from New York to …


November 3rd, 2017

They’re Laughing At Me, Mom

As part of his response to the latest terrorist attack in New York that killed eight people and wounded a dozen more, President Trump said that the U.S. justice system is a “laughingstock.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve lost count of the number of times Trump has said that the world is laughing …


October 31st, 2017

October 26th, 2017

October 22nd, 2017

Millennials Are Paying For It, But Will The Democrats Pay More?

The good news is… Since the election, millennials have stepped up. Subscriptions to “real media,” that is publications with traditional standards of verification, multiple sourced investigations and on-staff ombudsmen, have more than doubled since Trump’s election. And that’s good news. The bad news is, if you’re a Democrat, the truth hurts. The optimistic uptick comes …


October 18th, 2017

“Fake News;” The New Normal, The New Danger

For theater of the absurd, you could not beat the scene at the White House Monday afternoon. On the back steps of the Oval Office leading to the Rose Garden President Donald Trump trotted out Senator Mitch McConnell as the two renewed their vows for the media. The President, who had only one full news …


October 16th, 2017

Zeus, Harvey Weinstein, and Me

Maybe you’ve seen it. All over social media, ever since the Harvey Weinstein story broke, victims of sexual assault have been posting the phrase “Me too.” It’s a chilling reminder that sexual assault, abuse, and harassment is far more common than we are comfortably willing to admit. Yeah, well, fuck comfort. I’ll take truth over …


October 16th, 2017

What Happens Next?

I’ve spent most of the last year thinking – apparently – about the same thing as Hillary Clinton: What happened? How did the United States, fresh off eight years of its first African-American president, the land of changing demographics inexorably becoming browner, gayer, less religious, more liberal on every social issue, elect a man whose …


October 14th, 2017

The Right To (My) Life

When does life begin? That’s a question for the ages. Some say life begins at conception, others say life begins at birth. Newt Gingrich says life begins after he divorces a cancer-ridden wife. The point is, no one knows, but that doesn’t stop anti-abortion groups from pretending they do. It’s no coincidence that the current …


October 6th, 2017

Are You Ready For Some Redneck?

These are ironic times. Or maybe not. I was watching Monday Night Football a couple weeks ago when Hank Williams Jr.’s “Are You Ready For Some Football” rattled my cage. In case you don’t remember, this is the song that opened Monday Night Football for more than a decade until Williams was fired in 2011 …


October 4th, 2017

We are Under Attack and the Terrorists Are White Men With Guns

While Trump bans Muslims and attacks people of color, a dark shadow emerges. While Trump scorns the peaceful protests of NFL players, calling them sons of bitches, a plot unfolds. While Mexican-Americans feed the nation, and 800,000 fully vetted Dreamers go to work and go to school, Trump calls them rapists and murderers and Congress …


October 4th, 2017

Our Best Allies in the Gun Battle Ahead

When the first bullets ripped into the crowd in Las Vegas last Sunday night, country music superstar Jason Aldean and his band were wowing their fans with their stalwart brand of down and dirty country pop rock. When the initial confusion and disbelief gave way to abject terror Jason and his band-mates fled the stage. …


October 3rd, 2017

An American Man With Few Peers

“Well I don’t know, but I’ve been told, You never slow down, you never grow old.” Tom Petty’s sudden departure has affected me profoundly. Maybe because he left me when I needed him most, with the world seemingly beginning to unravel. I don’t know. But I just didn’t love his music, I loved Tom Petty. …


Inside the Beltway