Jim Jordan: A Lightweight Searches For Smaller Opponent

July 29th, 2018

Freedom Caucus attack dog Jim Jordan’s coy announcement that he’s running for Speaker of the House would be no less valid if it was written on fairy dust and sprinkled on Louis Gohmert’s grave. Jim Jordan isn’t running for Speaker, he’s running for Minority Leader. If he gets his wish, he’ll be Leader of a much smaller, purer and more Trumpian GOP.

[Author’s note: My apologies. Apparently Louis Gohmert is not dead.]

Jim Jordan knows he can’t win an election in the current House Republican Caucus. He is universally disliked, has no legislative accomplishments, and represents the furthest right fringe of his party. He’s also being investigated for ignoring rampant sexual abuse of student-athletes under his supervision at Ohio State. The man is seriously out-muscled. But that doesn’t stop Jim Jordan. He’s a former NCAA Lightweight Wrestling Champion. When Jim faces a challenger too big to defeat, he hits the sauna, drops a weight class, and finds a smaller opponent.

That’s why Jim Jordan is doing all he can to ensure Republicans lose the House in November by pushing ridiculous crusades like impeaching Rod Rosenstein and defunding Planned Parenthood. He’s moving further right in a midterm when his party faces tough races in moderate districts, because a massive Republican fail helps him. If the GOP manages to hang on to its majority in November, it will be a huge victory for Speaker Paul Ryan and his anointed successor, Kevin McCarthy. But if they lose, Jordan and his far right Freedom Caucus can pin the blame on the status quo and mount their insurrection. As Minority Leader, Jim can be Trump’s loudest cheerleader while inserting his right-wing dogma into the Republican mainstream. You think bigotry and ignorance is too often normalized in discourse now? Wait until it’s codified into GOP orthodoxy!

So, breathe a sigh of relief. Jim Jordan has as much chance of being Speaker as Louis Gohmert has rising from the dead. But there’s plenty of damage he can do as leader of a further radicalized Republican Party. So, considering our options, I think it’s best we just vote Jim Jordan out of Congress in November with the rest of them.

[Author’s note: My bad. Again, Louis Gohmert is not dead. We can vote him out, too.]

Mike Larsen

Mike Larsen is an Emmy-nominated writer for 'Real Time with Bill Maher', former Communications Director for Rep Jackie Speier, and a standup comic with multiple appearances on ‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.’ He currently serves as a Communications Consultant for the Janet Garrett for Congress campaign.
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