Category: Uncategorized

September 1st, 2019

Guns Over America

Against the backdrop of a Category 5 hurricane barreling toward Florida, 36 Americans were shot in two mass shootings in Florida and Alabama. The shootings in Odessa, Texas, the second such shooting in West Texas in the last two weeks, left seven dead after a white male in his 30’s opened fire after a traffic …

August 31st, 2019

The Alcohol Talking

“I have a better relationship with Ivanka and Tiffany than Trump.” This is the comment that has Madeleine Westerhout, Trump’s personal assistant, on the outside looking in. Westerhout was forced out of her job after her apparently not so “off the record” comments surfaced and Trump, who at first attributed her comments to alcohol, has now, not …

August 29th, 2019

CNN: Don’t Leave Me Yanging!

Democratic Presidential candidate Andrew Yang is pissed, and it appears he has a case. CNN aired a graphic Thursday night that didn’t list Yang when discussing primary candidates’ standings in a recent poll. Yang’s 3% has qualified him for the next national debate, and wonders why CNN would do him like this. “I’ll admit I’ve never …

August 29th, 2019

TSA: The Force Hates You

The Force is confused. “It could create concern that it’s the real thing,” TSA spokesperson Jim Gregory. Except that it’s a toy. The TSA has banned a souvenir from Disney’s Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge themed land. That’s right. The toy has been banned in both checked bags and carry-ons for looking too much like a weapon. The …

August 29th, 2019

Trump Won’t Betray FOX

President Trump, speaking to FOX host Brian Kilmeade, said he won’t do an interview with CNN because it would be disloyal to his followers. “I think it would be very disloyal to people that are Trump fans and people that voted for me and people that are going to vote again.” For the record, Trump has …

August 27th, 2019

Jakarta, The Canary

Indonesia, (I’ll wait for my fellow Americans to find it on a map; take a flight north from Australia, then hang a left,)  is relocating its capital from Jakarta to a remote jungle area on Borneo. Why? Jakarta, the densely-populated capital, home to more than 10 million, is quickly sinking into the Java Sea. Sinking, however, may …

August 27th, 2019

GOP Eyes Senate Lifeboat

The GOP, watching Trump’s base beginning to whither, has become increasingly focused on the very real possibility that 2020 could champion in not just a Democratic President, but a blue majority in the Senate as well. Mitch McConnell, whose self-designated position of roadblocking meaningful legislation, not just for needy Americans as seen in his opposition …

August 27th, 2019

A Floria Man G7? Hell No!

Trump, surprising absolutely no one, promoted one of his many failing properties Monday by suggesting the next G7 summit be held at his Doral Club in Florida. Rick Santorum, a former US Senator from Pennsylvania said holding the international gathering at a Trump property a “violation of law,” to which Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Kevin …

August 27th, 2019

President Joe Walsh; No, The Other One

Joe Walsh, the radio-host/bat-shit crazy politician who announced he’s running as a Republican against Trump, and whom comedian Borat tricked into saying we should arm children, is now without his radio gig. Walsh told CNN’s John Berman that he expected the move because nearly “80 to 90%” of his audience supports the Trump. “I am …

August 22nd, 2019

Same Ol FOX Shit Show

Trump’s one-time White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is now part of the FOX talking heads. Joining her father, former Governor Mike Huckabee, Sanders  role will be to offer analysis of news, politics, and generally kiss the ass of every soulless sycophant in Trump’s hemisphere. So basically, it’s the same job she just left. Sanders: “Fox …

Inside the Beltway